TripAdvisor: We Are Not Making This Up.

Here's one for our Crack Research Staff

To: support@tripadvisor.com
From: A confused user

IS THERE DANCING ON THE TRAIN??

That would be annoying. Particularly for the poor parrots. (Warning: PG-13)

From a review:

Our only complaint about the ________ thus far, is that each day early in the morning and in the afternoon when we take a nap, all we seem to hear is what sounds like the sodomizing of the parrots in the lobby 8 floors below us -very annoying.

CONGRATULATIONS! We've posted your complaint on our blog!

From an reply to our "we just posted your review" e-mail:

Whay are you CONGRATULATING me? I didnt win the lottery, all I did was write a review of a hotel in which I stayed. You're trying to build some artificial excitement for your site and that is lame.

Transformers: they're more than meets the eye

From a management response to a bad review:

So now according to your complaint, this dead bird walked into one of your rooms, turned into a rat, then a bat and died again.

Well that narrows it right down

From an e-mail to TripAdvisor support:

I wounld like to know who the country singer is that come to the zoo?

Dear Mr. LonelyOwl...

From a review of Graceland:

I was in Jr. High School when Elvis Presley became such a wonderful & poplular singer & entertainer. A friend of mine knew a friend of his, & I almost go to meet him, thru' her. But it didn't materialize. My grandma (who raised my brother & I) taught us to look to John 3:v.16 & to the Author of our faith, 1st. I always Prayed for Elvis & his family (including Priscilla & their child). One day in about 1968 I wrote Mr. Presley a letter, & I just couldn't keep the many tears back... they stained the letter all over. I decided to send that letter. I never heard from him personally, but I believed that the heart of the tears got there & one day I will meet him in God's presence & reality, & I'd like to sing a duet with him, too. Love, J------

We bet HockeyAdvisor.com doesn't know a darn thing about hotels, either

From an e-mail to TripAdvisor support:

Do you mean to tell me I can not get hockey information on your site.

Let's play Ask the Hotelier. Do you ever rent out dirty rooms, Mr. Hotelier?

To: TripAdvisor Hotel Relations Team
From: A hotelier upset about a bad review

We never rent out dirty rooms, I do not think that anyone in motel business would do something like that.  However, sometimes (almost never) the housekeeping could forget to clean a room and it could get rented out...
 

We have an Owl who paints pictures of himself in full cowboy regalia. You might want to talk to someone else about "decency."

From a review:

THE COWS OVER RUN THE POPULATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T DRINK THE WATER AND THE COW CRAP IS ALL OVER I MEAN GOD HAVE SOME DECENCY.

Finally, we've conned someone into taking the Owl's "Self-Portrait as Cowboy" out of our conference room!

From an e-mail:

Sorry it took so long to get back to you on our conversation at the Latino Celebration. I have talked to D---- P-----, Public Relations, about your offer to donate to the Cowboy Hall of Fame. He will get with the Hall of Fame this month to check out the possibilities (I did stipulate that the painting would have to be displayed). We still need your biography.