TripAdvisor: We Are Not Making This Up.

Why the stray dogs in Thailand won't attack you

From a management response to a review:

Dear Sir,  regarding stray dogs in Thailand, they are everywhere not just around here.  They normally follow construction workers who are also everywhere and live in camps on vacant land wherever they may be working.  Being from Indonesia you might be scared of dogs which appear to be stray, but actually dogs in Thailand are Buddhist and if you read the local newspapers you will see that there are never any incidents of people being bitten or attacked by dogs.  Thai dogs are extremely passive, in fact to the extent that they often sleep on the road so cars have to drive around them.

 

Yes. And Jaws = youth hostel.

From a management response:

Our guest found one jellyfish into the sea and declassed us to a 2 star hotel. What would he have done if he had found a tiger shark like in the Carribbean Sea? Would he have declassed us to a motel?

TripAdvisor: Where it's National Poetry Day EVERY Day!

A couple of management responses (that we actually think are pretty cute):

Please Don't Stay Here

If you like high rise and concrete, and long waits to dine,
Elevator gridlock and standing in line,
Loud music, fowl language and the smell of stale beer,
Then no matter your budget, please don't stay here.

If you're not into nature and preservation's no issue.
You don't conserve water and you overuse tissue,
If you must have a stogie and throw butts far and near,
Then do what you wish, but please don't stay here.

If you're not into lodges with the crackling of a fire,
Wood floors that occasionally creak when you retire,
The whistle of the wind when a storm is near,
And traditional lodge racket, then please don't stay here.

If you need freeway exits, paved parking, a mall,
Rather see a skyscraper than a tree that is tall,
Bothered by mountain air that is fresh, dry and clear,
Then whatever you do, please don't stay here.

But, if you do see a value in a true getaway,
Want warm, bed and breakfast style service each day,
Enjoy dining and amenities that make your trip dear,
Then please be our guests, and PLEASE, DO STAY HERE

and...

An obvious fake review
A terrible thing to do
We could'nt help looking
There was no such booking
Sounds like they all stayed in the loo

The best management response of all time

A traveler complained of cockroaches in a hotel. This is what the hotelier had to say in response to their review:

I think your comments unkind. Cockroaches are prehistoric creatures and can survive atomic bombs and weapons of mass destruction!

The 2nd TA office space actually WAS painted "terrible mustard," though

From a management response:

I make no apologies for the lilac colour in the room....after all the room is called "The lilac room" so what colour do you expect .... I have checked the paint tin and it definitely says lilac not 'terrible lilac'.

To avoid further disappointments, please note that "The red room" is red and "The coral room" is coral. If you want luminous we suggest you book the 'Mark Rothko room' which is painted in bright orange.

Transformers: they're more than meets the eye

From a management response to a bad review:

So now according to your complaint, this dead bird walked into one of your rooms, turned into a rat, then a bat and died again.

Oh SNAP.

From a management response to a review:

We lock our door at night and give every guest a key. We ask all guests to ensure the door closes behind them when they come in at night. If a guest is unable to put a key in the door they can always use the "Door Knocker" and ingenious piece of equipment designed to alert the occupants of a building that someone wishes to come into the building.

Obviously the person who wrote the review never saw one before. If asked we would have gladly demonstrated how it works.